


Two Sides

by Demerite



Series: Trektober 2019 [21]
Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Ash Tyler Lurks, Canon Can Go To Heck, F/M, Fix-It, Hospitals, M/M, Major Injuries (Canon), Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-27 15:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21121373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demerite/pseuds/Demerite
Summary: "You love him." Tyler says, apropos of nothing one afternoon, from his seat beside Chris' bed. He doesn't phrase it as a question.Una doesn't try to deny it. "So do you." She says, also not asking.





	Two Sides

**Author's Note:**

> For the Day 22 Prompt: Multiple Partners. 
> 
> Please be aware that my nursing background was in aged care, end-of-life care, and briefly in renal and endocrinology, not in post-op care, ICU, or rehabilitation. That being said, I'm not accepting concrit at this time!

Una gets the call a bit after 0300 (0317, she know the time exactly, it's basically seared into her brain, like so many things from that first, terrible night) and when her comm goes off, loud and insistent in the quiet darkness of her room, she nearly silences it and lets her dreams and her soft mattress take her again, but the code is Phil's, and Phil _does not call in the middle of the night. _There have been times she's cursed at him for that, times when the people she cared about, the people she loved, were hurt, broken and unconscious in sickbay, but Phil had made her a promise. 

"I'll only even wake you if it's _bad, _Una." He'd said, one hand a gentle weight on her forearm, "Only if someone is dying." 

He'd followed the moment of seriousness up with a joke about how they all needed to sleep, but that's not what's running through her head at the speed of light as she fumbled for her comm. 

"Who?" She asks, already knowing. 

"Chris." Phil's voice is tight, and Una can hear so much in the single syllable, hears just how close he is to breaking, and if she wasn't wide awake before, she is now, already scrambling for clothing, "Una, you need to get here _now_." 

She struggles into the first clothes she can get her hands on, curses and snarls at her boots, and then she's running, comm left abandoned on her bed. Her apartment is closer to the Base Hospital on foot than by shuttle, especially at this time of night when if she calls for one, she'll wait hours, and by the time she's pushing her way inside the big white building, she's gasping for breath and her lungs are burning and her unbrushed hair is sticking to her face. She looks a wreak, but she's not thinking about that, too busy looking for someone, _anyone _she recognises. 

"Commander." There's a hand on her elbow, and it takes all of Una's strength not to snarl and smack it away. 

She turns to meet a vaguely familiar face, someone she thinks she might have met before, possibly one of Phil's countless med students. 

"Yes?" She snaps, and the word comes out too loud, too harsh. 

"Dr Boyce sent me." The student says, "This way." He gestures to a door off the main foyer, that Una knows leads further into the hospital, towards the operating theatres. 

Numbly, she follows, although she shakes off the hand on her arm as she goes, allows herself to be lead down corridor after corridor until she's lost in a world of bright lights and white walls. 

Eventually, her escort stops and opens a door, waves her into what turns out to be a small waiting room of some sort. Una knows the type. She's sat in enough rooms like this one. 

"Someone will update you the moment we know anything for sure." She's told, but she's already seated herself on one of the uncomfortable chairs and started to zone out, staring at the wall in front of her, measuring time in heartbeats and breaths, not minutes and hours. The waiting is always the worst part. 

She's not aware exactly of how long it's been by the time the door opens, but she's halfway to her feet before she realises that the person coming in is wearing Command Gold, not Medical Whites. A second after that, she registers the face that belongs to the woman who has entered the room, and she comes to attention on pure reflex. 

"Admiral." 

Katrina Cornwell waves her off. "Don't start with that, Una." She says, and Una lets her posture relax, just a little, feeling the exhaustion she's been staving off these last few hours hit her just a little bit harder. She sits back down before she falls, and Kat sits next to her. 

"How much have they told you?" She asks when Una is looking a little steadier, when her posture has reasserted itself. They might be friends, but Kat is still her superior officer, and her training will always remember that. 

"Not a lot." She says, and marvels at her own ability not to sound overly bitter about it, "All Phil had time to say was that it's bad." Her hands twist in the hem of her shirt, and she swallows once, before admitting, "He made a promise, a few years ago, that he'd only wake one of us if someone was dying." 

Kat nods, her face unreadable. "He was with some cadets on the _USS Resolute." _She starts, and Una knows this, Chris had commed her a couple of days ago. They'd talked, he'd joked about how old the cadets were making him feel, and she'd told him he _was_ getting old, and he'd laughed, long and loud. "There was a malfunction in the radiation shielding." Kat continues, drawing Una swiftly back out of her memories, "An explosion." 

"He got all the cadets out." Una murmurs, because she knows it's true. She knows him well enough to know that Chris wouldn't be here at all if he hadn't been able to make sure everyone survived. 

Kat nods again. "They'll all survive, thanks to him." She agrees. She takes a deep breath. "He's stable." She says, and Una feels the relief hit her like a body-blow. 

She sags forwards, all the emotions of the last few hours hitting her at once, and sobs. Kat doesn't even flinch, just wraps her up in a hug, letting Una cry into her shoulder until the last few hiccuping sobs have faded away. 

"I'm-" Una starts. 

"Don't you dare apologise." Kat says firmly, "We both know you needed it." 

Una sniffs wetly, and nods. 

"He's stable, he's out of surgery, but...it's a waiting game now." Kat sighs, "He might not wake up. He might not be able to breathe on his own. We don't know yet." 

Una takes it all in. It's a hell of a lot more than she'd been expecting to hear when Kat first walked in. She's mostly expected that Kat had been saddled with giving her the bad news. She tells Kat as much, and she's met with a tired smile and an agreement. 

"Can I see him?" Una asks. She expects to be told no, or that it's too soon, or that he's so badly injured that Kat doesn't think it's a good idea. Instead, Kat just stands and nods. 

"It's bad, I'm sure you already know that." 

"I know." 

They walk in silence. Kat knows her way without having to ask anyone. 

The ICU looks the same way it always has, bleak and white and sterile, too bright and too much glass and too many machines that all blink and beep and buzz. Una ignores it all, and follows Kat. 

She doesn't recognise Chris at first. He's surrounded by and attached to so many machines there's hardly access to his bed. His entire head, and most of the right side of his body is swathed in re-gen mesh, but his left hand is free, and Una can see the scar across the knuckles of his first three fingers, testament to a mission gone wrong when they were both barely friends. 

She doesn't cry when she sees him. She doesn't cry when she sees all the machines, or the displays, or the medications. She nearly breaks when she watches his vitals, tracks the line that represents his heartbeat with her eyes. 

_He's alive. _

~*~

In the days and weeks after he's transferred from the ICU and then out to another facility, Una spends most of her time, days and nights when she can get away with it, in Chris' room. He's still not conscious yet, but his brain activity has been steadily picking up, and his doctors are hopeful that any day could be the day. Una listens in when they have their meetings, clustered around his bed, even though Phil always comes by to update her. She likes to hear what's being said right at the source. Phil isn't on Chris' treatment team, since he's not a specialist, but he's always around all the same. 

Una spends most of those days and nights curled up in the window seat in Chris' room, where she has a good view of goings-on, but she's far enough out of the way that most of the time, she's not asked to leave. The doctors, nurses, and other staff, have gotten used to her presence there. 

She's technically on leave, but she often does work or reads reports anyway. A lot of the time, she reads them aloud, because, on the chance that he can hear her, Chris would want to know what's happening with his ship. She's not sure how she feels about the new captain, but Spock's reports always speak highly of him - if you know how to read between the lines - and that's enough as far as Una's concerned. 

She's been reading the latest report aloud for nearly an hour, only stopping for a few sips of water to ease the ache in her throat from speaking for so long, when she hears a commotion out in the corridor. It's not the usual sort of chaos she's come to expect here. Medical chaos is more precise, more controlled. This is someone shouting, loud and angry and desperate in a way Una can all-too-easily remember from her headlong run to the Base Hospital that first night. 

She gets up, set the PADD down with an apology to Chris for the pause, stretches out the ache in her muscles from sitting in one position for so long, and crosses to the door to look into the corridor and see what's going on. 

Una has only officially met Ash Tyler once, but she knows who he is, and she's read the file on the mysterious head of Section 31. She'd also heard _a lot _about him from Chris, so she recognises him when she sees him in loud, angry conversation with one of Chris' doctors. From where she's standing, it looks like their disagreement is to do with letting Ash in to see Chris. 

Una doesn't hesitate. "Let him in." She says, stepping up beside the doctor, "He's not a threat, I'll vouch for him." 

The look Tyler gives her is full of such intense gratefulness that Una feels vaguely uncomfortable. 

"Thank you." He says, the moment the doctor has stepped away, "I came as soon as I heard." 

Una nods curtly. "It's not pretty." Is all the warning she gives him. 

She wants to let Tyler go in on his own, wants to give him that privacy, knowing what she knows about their relationship, but she's just not that trusting, so she follows him into the room, far back enough to give him some space, but not so far that she doesn't catch the pained inhale when Tyler first sees Chris. It's a mirror to her reaction when she'd seen him without the meshes for the first time. 

The scarring is, well, it's bad. The right side of his face and head had basically been one open wound, and even with weeks of regen therapy, it's not a nice sight. His hair hasn't started to grow back, although people keep assuring her it will. So long unconscious has meant he's lost weight and muscle tone, he looks like a sallow shadow of them man Una knows both of them love. 

She steps up beside Tyler, and puts a hand on his shoulder. "It's a lot to take in all at once." She says quietly, and he nods. "Let's get some coffee and I'll bring you up to speed." 

~*~

From then on, Tyler is there as much as Una is. Possibly more than; there are times when she has to leave, to go home for a change of clothes or a shower or to sleep in a real bed, and when she gets back, he's often there, almost as if he'd taken over watching Chris in her absence. 

They talk, because there isn't much else to do. 

At first, they mostly talk about Chris' condition, catching each other up on anything missed. Tyler asks good questions, he's smart and he thinks deeply about a lot of things, and as their topics of conversation start to range wider and wider, Una finds herself actually enjoying talking to him. 

"You love him." Tyler says, apropos of nothing one afternoon, from his seat beside Chris' bed. He doesn't phrase it as a question. 

Una doesn't try to deny it. "So do you." She says, also not asking. 

Tyler doesn't try to deny it, and Una's glad that they've come this far. At least they can be honest with each other about Chris. 

"How long?" She asks instead, trying for kindness, and hoping he won't take it as pity. 

"Long enough." His eyes go distant for a second. "You?" 

"Something like that." She replies. 

They lapse into silence. It's stopped feeling uncomfortable a while ago. Now they just wait and watch and when they're not talking, they learn. Una knows exactly what normal vitals look like. What medications do what, and how they interact. Tyler knows what drugs will and won't work. How to name all the parts of the heartbeat. 

They both know that hope is dangerous. They keep hoping anyway. 

~*~

Chris heals in fits and starts. He'll go days without any noticeable change, barely any sign of improvement, and then Una will walk into his room one morning to discover one of the machines has been taken away, or he's been weaned of another one of the drugs, or the next round of re-gen therapy has taken. 

There are some scars that even the regens can't help though; Chris has two rounds of skin grafts in an attempt to repair some of the facial damage. The first round helps a lot. The scarring is still present, will always be, to an extent, but his hair starts to grow back, even if there's a patch on the side of his head where it will never grow again. 

After the second round, when Chris' immune system is still in tatters, he catches a cold. 

Una hears about it when she's at home, in the shower, washing four days of sleepless nights off her skin and out of her hair. Phil's message is brief and to the point, but he finds the time to assure her that he's stable, and she doesn't need to rush. 

She rushes anyway. 

When she makes it up to the ICU, Ash - she gave up thinking of him as Tyler weeks ago - is lurking outside the glass doors, armed folded across his chest, glaring viciously at anyone who looks like they're going to try to talk to him. 

Una grabs him by the arm, and drags him away, pointedly not looking at Chris, surrounded by machines that she'd just got used to not seeing, for more than a second, just long enough to confirm what Phil had told her. 

They co-opt a waiting area, and Una produces a bottle from her bag. Ash glares at her, but he accepts it when she offers it to him. The only thing they can find to drink from are the paper cups from the water filter, but after the first few burning mouthfuls, they give up and just pass the bottle back and forth in silence. 

Some things are too big to put into words.

Phil finds them like that a little while later, looks them over and sighs. 

"Go home." He orders, "Both of you. He's stable. He just needs time." 

Ash glares at him until Una smacks him on the back of his head, offers him her couch for the night, and pretends she isn't surprised when he actually accepts. 

~*~

Neither of them is in Chris' room when he wakes up. 

It's been a bad day for both of them, to the point where Una dragged Ash out of Chris' room and into the hospital's gardens, to wander the paths and burn off some of the tense anger that's plaguing both of them with an impromptu race that ends with them both leaning against a tree, out of breath and laughing at each other. 

Their comms go off at the same time, with the same message. It's from Phil. Two words. 

_He's awake. _

They run back up the hill. Ash arrives a little ahead of Una, but when she catches up to him outside Chris' door, her hand pressed against the stitch in her side, he's waiting for her. 

They exchange a silent look. Neither of them knows what exactly they'll find in there. How much of the man they love is still there? How much has survived? 

Ash holds out his hand. Una takes it. 

Whatever future faces Chris, and them, Una knows they'll face it together, the three of them. 

~*~

In the days after regaining consciousness, Chris sleeps _a lot. _Una knows it's natural. She and Ash watch him round the clock, often together, but they always make sure one of them is there. Neither of them wants him to wake up alone. 

"It's in case you decide to wander off." Una tells Chris, and he lets out a low huff of breath that's the closest thing he can manage to a laugh. He's still not speaking, the doctors and speech therapists can't give an answer as to whether he will be able to regain that ability or not, but he's conscious and they can communicate, and that's more than Una had already dreamed possible. 

"You get into too much trouble alone." Ash adds. He's sitting in Una's window-seat today, while she sits in the chair by the bed. 

The look in Chris' eyes in the same one Una's used to seeing when she and Phil used to tell Chris he was a series of accidents waiting to happen, and it makes her heart ache to see it, sadness and joy and hope and fear. 

~*~

The first word Chris says when he finally manages to speak is "Una". The second is "Ash". It's only in that order because Una is sitting closer, because he sees her first. They're both leaning over him in seconds, Una clasping his left hand, Ash with one hand resting on Chris' chest. 

The third word Chris says is "ouch". 

Una bites down on the urge to start crying. It's a hard thing to do. Beside her, she hears Ash let out a slow, shaky breath, and knows he's holding back tears as well. 

~*~

Chris excels at physical therapy. He pushes himself, although sometimes too hard. Una, Ash and Phil, separately and in various combinations, tell him to take it easy. Chris gripes that he's been taking it easy for eight months, he's done with taking it easy, but they all know how to deal with his shit by now. 

As Chris gets stronger, the weather improves, until one day, Chris admits he wants some fresh air. He's in bed, with Una curled up beside him, leaning half against his good side and half on his pillows, her boots kicked off on the floor. Ash is sitting by Chris' legs. They've been playing some weird three-person game of chess, allegedly Ash vs. Una, but Chris chimes in give both of them suggestions from time to time. 

"I think we could organise something." Una suggests, a plan already forming in her mind. 

It takes a day of organising, of convincing Chris' doctors and specialists that it's a good idea. In the end, Kat overhears them discussing it, and insists that if Chris wants to go outside, he should, for the good of his mental health, and that's that. 

Ash finds blankets from somewhere. Una collects food from the cafeteria. Chris isn't up to walking long distances, so they've picked a spot out of sight of the hospital, but not so far that they can't make it there and back without assistance. Phil pretends he's not hovering and fussing, but he is. None of them mind it. He brings pillows and helps Chris get settled, back resting up against a tree, looking out of the little lake that the hospital maintains mostly for visual effect, but he's on call, and he's no sooner arrived, than he has to go back to work. 

Ash and Una spread out the food she's brought, all things Chris likes and is allowed to eat by his doctors. It's sunny. There's a breeze rustling the leaves of the tree above them, bringing the sound of birdsong and the scent of wildflowers towards them. It's all kinds of perfect. Una feels like her heart might burst from how happy she is, and when she looks over at Ash, she sees the same feelings in his eyes. 

They end up curled up together, Chris in the middle, staring up at the open sky above them. It used to be a rare thing for any of them to see sky. Chris falls asleep between them, and Una feels her eyelids drooping soon after. She looks over, only to find Ash asleep, or faking it incredibly well, his breathing slow and even and deep. 

It's evening by the time the hospital staff come looking for them. The sun has just dipped below the horizon, there are fireflies dancing in the air above the lake, and the lights that illuminate the paths are coming on. Chris winces when they rouse him, and Una feels a faint twist of guilt because they didn't mean to keep him out this long. He tells them both that it was worth it though, and the smile on his face leads Una to believe him. 

~*~

Six weeks after their picnic, Chris is allowed home. He's scheduled to have visits from a nurse each day, and he's got a whole host of checkups and PT appointments and therapy - although therapy's something they're _all _doing, in their own time - scheduled, and he's definitely not allowed to do anything even approaching work - and they haven't had that conversation, but Una and Ash both know it won't be an easy one - but he's out of the hospital and in his own apartment for the first time in almost a year.

Ash and Una help him get settled. It doesn't take long, and then there's the moment of awkwardness. Both of them want to stay. Neither of them wants to ask. In the end, Chris does the asking. 

"Will you stay?" He says simply, and they do. 

Una curls next to him on the bed on the side that has always been hers, and it feels so strange to lie next to him in a bed that is actually big enough for them both. 

Ash goes to lie down on the floor. 

Chris' face goes soft and hurt. 

He won't ask. Una knows he won't ask. They've had quiet conversations, in moments when it's just the two of them, and she knows he won't ask, but that he wants. 

Una sits up. Looks over the edge of the bed. "I'm pretty sure Chris has two sides. Get your ass up here Tyler." She growls, but there's a smile on her face as she says it. 

Ash looks sheepish, but he picks himself up from the floor, and joins them on the bed. 

It takes some rearranging, but eventually they manage to settle in a way that they all find comfortable. It's not perfect, Una knows she's going to get too hot in about ten minutes, and Chris will snore, and all of them have nightmares, but they'll work that out when they get to it. 

Whatever this is, it's a start. 

~*~

Epilogue

"You know, I hear they're talking about naming a scholarship after you." Ash says. He's lounging on one end of Chris' sofa, relaxed and comfortable in sweatpants and a faded T-shirt that Una is pretty sure belonged to Chris at one point. 

"Really?" Una asks from where she's tucked into the sofa's other corner, a PADD resting on her lap, but largely ignored in favour of the movie they'd put on, "Is it for leaping without looking? For jumping into the line of fire? For being a self-sacrificing asshole?" 

Between them, Chris laughs, and pulls them both closer to him. Ash rests his head on Chris' shoulder, and Una leans against his side. The apartment is warm, late summer sunlight streaming in through the windows. Una is pretty sure they're going to fall asleep here, but that's okay. 

It's all okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> Want to know more about Trektober? Click [HERE](https://aishahiwatari.tumblr.com/post/188059640163/trektober) for the info post on Aisha's tumblr, or [HERE](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Trektober2019) for the AO3 collection to read our fic. 
> 
> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://demerite.tumblr.com/)!


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